Saturday, July 13, 2019

Pierwalker Log: July 13, 2019

Writing start: 8:45 A.M.
Finish: 3:46 P.M.
Total new words (est.): 500
Edited (est.): 9200

1. Failure: Off till 8/5

2. Book Three Melody: Read-through of chapter sixteen

3. Angel: Book Three: 300 new words
Notes: I'm guessing this chapter will fall in the 5 - 6K range.

4. Random Chance Book Two: Off

5. Port Story: 200 new words
Notes: Probably halfway through the chapter at this point.

6. Hidden Bookmarks: Off

7. LOTR: Read-through of chapter eight

8. T-Bag: Edited chapter four

Special Projects: None today

Extra notes: I have come to final grips with something vital: this culture is insane.

That's an objective fact at this point. To dispute it is to ignore evidence so momentous as to be insane yourself.

It's that culture which has relegated me to total obscurity and brought fame and glory to such awfulness as EL James or R. Kelly or Jeffrey Epstein or any Kardashian.

It's that culture which hurrieshurrieshurries and can't be bothered to slow down and consider, to meditate and appreciate.

It's that culture which power curved social media and allows giant megalopolies like Amazon, Facebook, Apple, and Google to carry on unabated and unchallenged.

It's that culture which put Donald Trump into office, and which refuses to challenge him and drag him out.

It's that culture which continues merrily on destroying the planet.

It's the culture you are part of. You who visit this blog but remain a lurker, a stealer, uninvolved and ultimately indifferent.

Bottom line: You're part of the problem. Not the solution.

I lost my temper in the last log. I've read it over several times since Thursday evening, when I posted it. I don't regret a single word I wrote. I put the blog on private all night, and cooled down. I didn't want you polluting it.

It's your culture. It isn't mine. My culture includes, above all things, true community, true friendship, true appreciation, and true stewardship. It brings its attention to just a few things, and eschews the tidal wave of shit demanding attention every second of every day. It recognizes things like talent, persistence, loyalty, honesty, passion, and intelligence.

In other words, it's not for you.

I made a commitment to my partner yesterday, and now I'm going to make one to you. The stat tracker that tracks this blog displays data that is quite literally meaningless and worthless, as well as invalid and also probably untrue. The problem is, I'm addicted to watching it.

That's something I'm sure Google wanted. The need for attention and approbation is a normal thing for the human animal. When it isn't present, that's unhealthy. When there is too much, that's unhealthy as well. I suffer from the former.

Google is a giant social engineering manipulator, which makes it very dangerous and wholly undemocratic. Its stat tracker was no doubt coded with the help of teams of psychologists and the like, as Facebook's and Twitter's algorithms were, to addict its users. This is no different. And I'm addicted.

My commitment is to check the stat tracker only once every day, and only after 5 PM and before dinnertime. It comes with a commitment to remind myself that the numbers I see there are meaningless and worthless, and are invalid and likely untrue as well. And it comes with a commitment to remind myself verbally that there are only two numbers with respect to my blog and my work that matter in any way at all, and which don't appear on the stat tracker. They are: 1) My royalties to date; and 2) the number of people who truly involve themselves with my work, ie, regularly comment, join and contribute to my Reddit community, evangelize my books and this blog to friends and family, and post reviews of both when they get a chance to.

That's it. There are no other data points worth considering whatsoever.

You who lurk here: this isn't the HuffingtonPost. This isn't Daily Kos. This isn't Wonkette. This isn't the New York Times or Washington Post. This isn't ProPublica. This isn't a book blog or a forum. This is my blog, my personal blog, the best goddamned author blog on the Internet. You've been taught to treat every site you visit the same. You've been taught to be a slobbering herd animal, and it looks like you've passed the classes a valedictorian. Congratulations. You must be so proud.

But every site, herd animal, isn't the same, and shouldn't be treated the same. Is that pea-sized mind of yours blown? Just wow, man!

I expect to be treated differently by my visitors. And I refuse to accept any other viewpoint or treatment.

What are the chances I will be treated as I desire? Pretty damn close to zero. But as Wonder Woman says (we watched it last night; I very much needed to see it again), and to paraphrase her, "It's not about you. It's about what I believe."

I believe in true community. And so I will continue to agitate and rage and rant and push for it with everything I have. The only people worth a damn in this world want the same thing as me, and have made the necessary changes in their life to reflect those beliefs.

The rest of you? As I said in another recent post, you can fuck way off.