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~~*~~
Chapter Four
Lawyered Up
Lawyered Up
~~*~~
THE CUBE’S movement was whisper-silent and barely discernible. It went on for a short time; Random felt it slow to a stop.
The
opposite wall went transparent. Staring coldly at him were two armed men in
gray-blue uniforms, one sitting at a small desk, the other standing, hands
clasped behind his back. Random didn't bother standing.
The
one sitting at the desk read aloud from a screen.
"The
charges are: conspiring with the enemy—"
"Bullshit,"
said Hewey in his ear.
"—blaring—"
"What
is 'bullshit'?" asked Cubey.
"I'll
explain later," said Hewey.
"I
will update my files when the information is made available.”
"
'Blaring'?" said Hewey.
"It
is the legal term for the inappropriate use of a communications instrument in
or near an interplanetary travel or shipping lane, or the use of same near an
inhabited world," explained Cubey. "My friend Random Chance is being
charged with both."
"—and
resisting arrest," finished the guard.
"More
bullshit," growled Hewey. "You really must've pissed off the Garkies,
Rand. They want you gone."
The
wall to Random's right went transparent. The visage of an angry,
harried-looking old man filled it.
"Representation?"
he demanded.
"Waived,
Your Honor," said the standing guard.
"Challenged,"
said another face which appeared abruptly on the left wall.
The
guards looked surprised. No, shocked. They glanced at each other, then at the
face of the unexpected man.
"Who
are you?" demanded the judge.
"Ralos
Ytilitu, Your Honor. I am Mr. Chance's attorney. Credentials and identification
are available."
The
judge snarled, "How's that possible?" He looked like he hadn't smiled
a day in his life. "The prisoner's rights were waived during—"
"Against
my client's rights," interrupted Ralos Ytilitu. "According to Martian
Criminal Code, those charged with a crime or crimes must display full faculties
for their rights to be waived, and must waive them on record, which my client
did not get to do, as he was unconscious during the arrest and subsequent
transport to this facility."
The
guards seemed completely flummoxed. The one standing murmured to the one
sitting, "Do his credentials check out?"
The
sitting guard looked up and nodded vacantly.
The
standing guard righted himself and said, "Your client was conscious during
processing—"
"No,
he wasn't," countered Random's lawyer. Random, for his part, was just as
perplexed and confused as the guards. He knew no lawyers, and certainly didn't
have one on retainer. "I have obtained video confirming that he was in
fact unconscious during arrest and transport to this facility."
Ralos
Ytilitu's face disappeared. What replaced it was a video feed of Random on an
anti-grav stretcher, a guard at his head, another at his feet. The video showed
him being loaded into the Red Sheriff's vehicle inside the cavernous bay of the
UOT Adelson.
"How
did you come by this?" demanded the judge.
"That
question is outside your purview," answered Random's lawyer. "I will
file the video with the Martian Common Judicial Review Committee if you insist
on pursuing these ridiculous charges. The Committee for Human Rights of the
Parliasolis will have a field day with this. Further economic sanctions will
likely be levied against the Martian
Commonwealth . To avoid
them, and to give the appearance of fairness, the Judicial Review will charge
you and your office with corruption. You know it and I know it. Or would you
like to test my hypothesis?"
"You are in contempt!" bellowed the judge. Ralos' face had since
reappeared in the wall to Random's left.
"You
leave me no choice," said Ralos.
The
guards held silent and amazed. They had never dealt with a lawyer before,
having railroaded prisoners through the system with the conspiring consent of
the judge.
"Now wait just one
minute!" the judge roared,
his face crimson.
"This
man has been illegally held for nineteen Martian-hours," said Ralos
Ytilitu. "I will wait no longer."
"Release
him," grumbled the judge.
The
guards’ mouths hung open.
"I said release him!"
With
that the judge's face disappeared, replaced once again by the cold white wall
of the cube.
The
guards stared at Random, and then they too disappeared. A moment later the cube
started moving.
~~*~~
The
left wall dissolved after the cube stopped minutes later, revealing a long
corridor illuminated in cold greenish-white light.
Random
stood and walked into it. Hewey was still roaring with laughter in his ear. It
turned out Ralos Ytilitu was none other (of course) than Cubey.
"That
was brilliant, Cubey, brilliant!" shouted Hewey for the fifth or sixth
time.
"Thank
you, friend Hewey," said Cubey. Random thought he could hear the tiniest
trace of a genuine smile in his voice, and pride. "I hacked the
psychiatric profiles of the guards and the judge, then constructed a
personality that would intimidate all of them to the greatest possible degree.
Random Chance, the authorities were trying to gain access to Ralos Ytilitu's
feed during your prosecution in order to cut it off, but were unable to locate
it. They will likely have deduced that your attorney must be on Phobos or in
orbit and will be searching for him. You may want to expedite your journey back
to your recreational vehicle, as they may try to search it for your lawyer
before you take off."
"Got
it. Fire 'er up, Hewey," said Random, who broke into a jog.
"Already
on it, El Honchorito," said Hewey. "The prison's mag beams are
already pulling me to your airlock."
"Fuel?"
"Two
cells and change," said Hewey. "Enough to get us to Vesta ... barely.
We may need to slingshot Earth, which isn’t too far out of the way."
"Random
Chance ... what will become of me?"
The
concern in Cubey's voice was noticeable and a very good imitation of a worried
man. Random wondered if Cubey was imitating anything now, so furiously had he
climbed the curve towards consciousness.
"How
are your resources coming?" asked Random as he hurried toward the airlock.
"Two
million twenty-seven thousand percent."
"You're
in charge of this facility from now on," said Random. "But don't let
the administrators or guards know it. Protect the inmates. Fight for them like
you did me. The men and women who run this place are corrupt and evil. Don't
let them win—not the big battles, anyway. They don't care about human life,
especially those in the Nyett Zhong. Understand?"
"I
do, Random Chance. And I will do as you ask to the best of my abilities and
resources."
"That's
what I want to hear. Hewey, are you bugged?"
"I
have to be. I've got new hardware strapped to me hereabouts, some identifiable,
some not."
"Is
this hatchway bugged?"
"I
have deactivated all sensor technology in the corridor, friend Random,"
said Cubey. "The Pompatus of Love
has seven additional pieces of hardware that it did not have prior to being
parked here. I have deactivated those as well. They will self-jettison in
flight and destroy themselves."
"My
thanks, Cubey," said Hewey. "They feel like bloodsuckin' flies on my
ass."
"Random
Chance, will we meet again?"
"Hewey,
give him permanent access to this comm link. Iceberg Access code: JAMESON
VICTOR UNDERGROUND."
"Done,"
said Hewey. "You got that, Cubey?"
"Updating
files. Random Chance, the link that allows you to hear Hewey, and now me: its
software must be quite advanced."
"It's
military grade for the highest command personnel, and self-upgrading. My father
installed it before he was executed. A prison like this couldn't tap it or cut
it off. I thought the piggies’ computer on the warship might be up to the task,
but even it couldn't break in."
"It
was sure as hell tryin', though," remarked Hewey as Random stopped at the
hatch door.
"It
was trying to hack into background static," said Random. "That's all
they think they were listening to—random spikes. They happen all the time in a
crowded solar system. Cubey?"
"Yes,
friend Random?"
"You
can contact us any time. If you want you can download to The Pompatus' core processor right now. Hewey, we got room for a
new housemate?"
"We’ve
got plenty," said Hewey. "He can also shoot updates our way as
needed."
"Does
that work for you, Cubey?" said Random as the prison's airlock cycled and
opened, revealing The Pompatus'. He
hurried in and hit the cycle button.
"Whoops,"
said Hewey. "Hang on a moment, partner. It looks like you've got nanobots
all over you."
"Cubey?"
said Random.
"They
are medbots, twenty-eight point two percent still active. One moment, please
... I also read a viral assemblage bot that is attached to sixty-six percent of
them, active or not. Analyzing ..."
"Could
it be, friend Cubey, that before you became
Cubey you were unknowingly treatin' prisoners with purposely contaminated
medbots?" asked Hewey.
That
gave Cubey long pause. Random waited in The
Pompatus' airlock, listening to the patient whisper of the airplant. There
wasn't time for this!
"Hewson,"
he said, "I'm fine in here. Get us off this rock."
"Destination?"
"Vesta,"
said Random, shaking his head in frustration. "Vesta. Let’s plot that
slingshot to save fuel. Mia’s going to have to wait a little longer."
"She's
probably worked out that you got yourself in a peck o' trouble," said
Hewey.
"I could run away but I'd
rather stay in the warmth of your smile lighting up my day ..." murmured Random. He punched the wall.
"Analysis
complete," said Cubey. (Was that anger in his voice?) "Medbots are
indeed contaminated with a rider, one that eventually overwhelms the
carrier."
"What’s
its function?" said Random and Hewey together.
"Unknown,"
said Cubey. "But if you step back into the entry tube, I believe I can
deactivate them."
"No
need," said Hewey. "They're dyin' left n' right. They must be
specific to this hoosegow."
"Agreed.
I'm downloading to The Pompatus of Love's
core. Random Chance, guards have entered the entry tube. You would be advised
to make a hasty exit. I have disabled the prison's security beams, but I can only
do so for another seventy-six-point-two-eight seconds before the guards either
reboot the subsystem or employ manual beams. I will not be able to help you
then."
The
airlock finished cycling and the door slid open, admitting Random to his ship.
He hurried up to the bridge, noting with a growl the mess the Garkies had made.
Hewey jettisoned away from the tube; the RV started drifting slowly to
starboard.
They
were still in the prison's bay, in total darkness. Just before Random asked the
way out, great doors above them opened slowly. Sunlight poured through, bright
and beautiful.
"I
have control of your ship, Random Chance," said Cubey. "Auto-release
engaged ..."
Random
felt his gut sag slightly as The Pompatus
of Love was ejected from the bay by his new friend.
"Beam
off," said Cubey. "Your ship is under your control now."
"Thanks
again, friend Cubey," said Hewey.
Random
sat and turned The Pompatus around
and eased on the accelerator very gently, keeping as low as he could. Mars
loomed hugely overhead. The prison's many structures, some quite tall, came and
passed like bone-white stems sticking out of a huge rock. Solar panels here and
there caught the sun and shot harsh highlights at him. Those panels were now
Cubey's very heart; they pumped the lifeblood of the sun into his power cells
and would now keep him conscious. Random thought about how thin the line was
between consciousness and unconsciousness, between life and death.
Thinner than the width of a photon.
"Speed:
two hunnies," said Hewey.
"This
prison is frickin' enormous," murmured Random, who kept the bridge bubble
retracted. "It covers the entire moon!"
"Random
Chance, your altitude is too low for the structures that should just now be
visible on your horizon."
"I
see them," said Random.
"Are
you prepared for interplanetary flight?" said Cubey.
"Hewey?"
"Let's
do it."
"Full
thrusters are advised at this stage, heading two-oh-two by seventy-eight by
twenty-two degrees z by x, burn thrust at fifty-seven percent
for twenty-two minutes, ten-point-oh-six seconds for maximum efficiency,"
said Cubey.
"Got
it," said Hewey. "Cubey, my friend, welcome to our little ship."
"I
am quite glad to be here," said Cubey, "and glad to be of service to
you, friend Captain."
"Going
automatic," said Random. "Hewey, set the ignition to Cubey's analysis
and fire 'em. Let's get out of here."
"Got
it," answered Hewey.
The
ship's engines roared to life. Random could feel himself settle in his seat for
a split second before internal gravity compensated.
The Pompatus of Love rocketed away from Phobos.
"Mag
beams will come online in fourteen point six seconds. That is too much time for
prison officials to recapture you. I have introduced a harmless virus into the
orbiting guards' ships. They will not be able to pursue or overtake you. I have
also completed a rudimentary upload into The
Pompatus of Love's core. Random Chance, I have never been anywhere. Is
Vesta nice?"
Hewey
laughed.
"Is
it 'bullshit'?" asked Cubey after a moment's hesitation, apparently
puzzled by Hewey's reaction.
While
Random nodded knowingly, Hewey laughed again.
Chapter Five
~~*~~