Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Pierwalker Log: November 21, 2018

Writing start: 10:16 A.M.
Finish: 3:37 P.M.
Total new words (est.): 0
Edited (est.): 22400


1. Failure: Primary edit number two of chapter twenty-two

2. Book Three Melody: Primary edit number five of chapter twelve
Notes: It's going to Kye tomorrow, and with almost another thousand words to boot!

3. Ant Story: Off

4. Fractalverse: Off

5. The Cheapery St. Heroes: Book Two: First tertiary edit of chapter three

6. Dread Pirate Roberts: Off

7. Firefly: Primary edit number four of chapter thirteen

8. Rapscallion: Off

Special: None

Extra notes: One day a year to be grateful? How very American.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day in the US. It's a day that Americans are supposed to give thanks for all they have, their families, their so-called "free" country, and so on.

As a lifelong veteran of this holiday, I'm here to tell any of you who don't live here that it's largely bullshit. The holiday has lost most if not all the positive meaning it had, if it had any at all. Settlers, after all, were busy butchering the true Americans who had already lived here for thousands of years prior; if not bleeding them over their own soil, settlers were busy passing diseases on to them and wiping them out that way.

Families typically come together to overeat and then argue about their political and religious differences while football and Black Friday commercials drone on from the living room. Think dysfunctional Norman Rockwell.

I am adopted. My adopted family, back in 1990, disowned me because I demanded that Christmas be booze-free. That didn't settle well with my father or siblings, all of whom are alcoholics. My birth family, whom I found in 1991, treated me much the same way, and with the same outcome not too many years after that. It's hard as hell losing one family, even a grossly dysfunctional one. Try losing two of them. I bet you can't even imagine that.

I have spent my life meditating on what family truly is, and what friendship truly is, too. That meditation is foundational to all my writing, top to bottom. It informs everything that comes out of me. One whom you consider true family is also one whom you consider a true friend. One whom you consider a true friend is also one who is part of your true family. Anything else is false and fraudulent.

Blood does not make family, no matter what anyone claims to the contrary. If you can't stand your family but go home anyway for the holidays, then they aren't your true family. It's that simple. I know many would in principle agree with me there, but refuse, when the chips are down, to acknowledge the fact. False families rely on coercion, social pressures, guilt, and obligation as the glue to bind their families together; and everyone involved pretends it isn't so while sitting around the table stuffing their faces with Aunt Marge's dry turkey and stuffing.

True families, far rarer, do no such thing. (Though the turkey and stuffing may still be dry.)

Until Kye, I hadn't been part of a true family in more than three decades.

She's my true family, as is Stormageddon, our four-times-abandoned kitty (no, even I can't imagine being dumped by four families!). As for the false families that are now long gone from my life, the scars will always be there, and during this time of year they ache more than usual. I think of Mom a lot more during this time of year. She's true family to me as well. She died back in 1984, around this time of year, which makes the Silly Season that much harder for me to bear. She made the holidays special, and I'll never forget those I got to spend with her.

I don't take one day out of every year to be grateful, jackweed. Every single day I give thanks for all that I have, meager as that is. Every single day.

Tomorrow is for those Americans who, for the previous three hundred sixty-four days, refused to see past the ends of their noses to see just how blessed they are. Tomorrow, if they give honest, authentic thanks at all, it will come when they drive away from their false families and towards the Walmart, where they'll spend money they don't have on things they don't need for people who don't truly give a flying fuck about them in the first place.

Happy Thanksgiving.